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The
Ashlandsman Take My Word, Please Here's a revealling game you can play alone or with others. A phone has been invented that allows you to call yourself at age 16. You can say whatever you like---but only one sentence. What would it be? From the many responses I received, two generalizations can be made. Most men advised taking more chances while many women suggested caution. (From this I conclude that the women had led more adventurous lives.) And the majority of both sexes ignored the one sentence rule. In fact, a few wrote treatises on the nature of reality suitable for a teenaged Voltaire. So, out of necessity, I've edited or paraphrased but, I hope, remained true to the spirit of the long-winded originals. Practical advice ranged from the classic "Be a doctor" to the intriguing "Study Adlerian psychology," and all-purpose "Learn to sing, dance and play an instrument---girls love that stuff." There was a relationship/food consideration: "Husbands are like pancakes---you may have to throw out the first one" and a philosphical nostrum: "Forget 'live fast and die young' and develop a taste for bran." There was an effort to change the past: "Tell President Kennedy not to go to Dallas." Some ways to profit from it: "Save all your Barbies", "Bet on the '69 Mets," and, my favorite "Move to Seattle and buddy up to a kid named Bill Gates." Personal advice was aimed directly at life at puberty: "Take off that silly headband and get out of the sun," "Don't date so many losers" and "In two years, a hot cheerleader will ask you to smoke a joint with her and trust me, this is no time for your usual lecture on drug abuse." Also: "Stay in school, honor your parents and B.L. has a social disease." There were several variants of Believe in Yourself such as: "Don't give up what you love for the agendas of others"; "Experience as much as you (I) can;" "You have everything you need to get everything you want," and G. B. Shaw's ultimate advice: "Don't take any advice from anyone." Although no one directly mentioned G-d (odd, I thought for a Havurah-heavy sample), there were responses of a spiritual nature: "Life's greatest gift is lie itself"; "Obey the 10 Commandments"; "Treat everyone as you would wish to be treated"; and "Compassion, compassion, compassion", One answer was a bumpersticker: "Follow Your Bliss (Not My Rear End)"' and many defied categorizing: "Be curious"; "Define Yourself"; "Take more time than you need before you proceed"; "Dont be so arrogant as to not learn from those you trust"; "Anytime you think to yourself 'Oh, it'll be okay, it WONT be okay"; "Love is more important than money but you can't imagine how much money you're going to need to live decently"; and "Your heart size is more imortant than your bra size". My own response, inspired by my wife and daughter, is both advice and blessing: "Live many lives", But if I had a second shot, I'd invoke Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan's great wisdom: "To expect life to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge at you because you are a vegetarian". A conclusion? At any age, we remain wistful for what might have been. Or, as the sage said: "You live and you yearn". So, thanks to everyone who contributed and, to all of us, good luck in dodging our personal bulls. Shalom.
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